Embracing your Inner B**ch by Nadhira Razack
You’re probably thinking – why this topic? What’s this got to do with business ?
A LOT! Actually.
It was an epiphany when I had the awareness that I would do anything so that People wouldn’t call me the “B” word.
And it was affecting me. Big time.
eg: I wouldn’t ask for what I wanted – thinking people would think – gosh isn’t that enough already? You want This too?
I wouldn’t speak up when I wasn’t happy with something eg. say out loud “Look I would like you to do this instead”
All of the above behaviour came from My reluctance to being called a b**** or judged to be a bi***..
Okay okay.. I can hear you going.. but Nadhira ..why is that such a bad thing? I don’t want to be a called a bi*** either?
Stay with me – I need to let you in on how this came to my awareness: )
The incidents leading up to the awareness:
Hired a nanny – found myself being the nanny to my nanny : )
i know.. it’s not a moment I’m proud of. Yet I was wondering why I felt exhausted when she left on the first day.
I kept asking her if she needed water, did she have breakfast? Other questions of a similar nature..
Instead of letting her support me.
This hurt me the most because I would see this pattern in more than one place. I would hire help and then not allow them to support me!
I knew there was something wrong with the picture.. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until I had two coaching calls with two different mentors
and they both reflected the same piece of info to me!
It was so clear. “Nadhira – you’re trying Not to be a B**** – that’s where this whole thing is coming from”
Here’s the teaching:
“What you resist, persists” – Carl Jung
All suffering is caused by non-acceptance of what is. It may be a thought, a feeling, an emotion or a situation. You suffer when you want things to be different from how they are. What you resist persists.
So by me Not wanting to be called a b**ch behind my back or to my face – I was blocking out a part of me that has the capacity to be incredibly powerful. The B word has connotations that would make one appear to be “Mean” or “a nag” or a “complainer”
Yet.. there’s aspects of the “B” word I actually wanted to embrace that I wasn’t fully allowing in to my experience.
So I went on a scavenger hunt for the flip side of the coin And I’m so happy I did.
I looked up animal totems and their meaning and typed in “Dogs” and their meaning. I couldn’t find “female dog” per se ; )
I chose to embody the meanings that I now could give this word:
Dogs are a symbol of loyalty, unconditional love, protection and service.
The following is how I chose to reframe the above symbols in a way that would serve me – which I found incredibly healing.
I could be Loyal to myself – i.e. ensure my needs are met, so I can be the best version of myself.
I could speak my Truth with total Love and respect for myself and the other person.
I could protect my boundaries and speak up in service to my self and my master – soul/ God.
So today when I had someone clean my house and I wasn’t happy with certain jobs.. I didn’t think I was being a “B***” or that I was complaining or being a nag.
Instead I chose to be loyal to myself – ensure my needs are met. I wanted a clean bathroom, clean floors and I made sure I got it!
You Know you’ve cleared something when you feel lighter and more alive.
I owned my role.. as the ‘boss’ to let the gentleman know when his work wasn’t up to my expectations and you know what?
The world didn’t fall apart?He actually Thanked me for letting him know he’d missed some spots! : )
Share with me if you’ve ever held back from asking for what you want and getting the support you most need because you have a tape playing about who you would be in order to ask for it.
And remember… Embrace Your Inner B**** : ).