Cocooning versus getting into Conversation by Nadhira Razack
Sometimes although as much as you’d like to ruminate and stay inside in your cocoon while something different is cooking up, the real work comes when you put that out there and get real life feedback: In the form of picking up the phone, speaking to people, being in conversation.
Even discerning when something is a skill to be learned via a formal course versus needing help, a guide to get you where you want to go.
Setting goals and intentions is great because it gives you a direction. The point of all of it though is never the goal but who you become along the way to having that in your life.
Here’s what I know:
That I just love the whole journey that is entrepreneurship,
The journey that you go through to bring something from idea into form.. from scratch.
“The roller coaster ride that is Bringing something into the world that doesn’t exist because you said so” quoting my writing teacher Stella Orange.
We have to learn when we’re just studying and studying versus putting the learning into action. It’s through action that you really learn what actually works versus what doesn’t.
I remember what it was like going from having one child aged 2.5 years old to having another baby and I was so overwhelmed. My older one refused to go to occasional care and I didn’t quite have the skills or knowing how to BE in order to get him out of the house.
I called a parent support hotline from our local council and just having this lady talk me through my options of how to cope after having my second and we realised “you know what honey.. if he misses one day.. just let it go”. Even for this woman to tell me “what you’re going through is so normal”
And I remember sitting on the couch with my older one still in his PJs and feeling like such a failure.. tears streaming down my face and holding my baby in my arms too going.. “when is this going to get easier?” I rang occasional care and told the teacher in tears that I can’t bring him in .. and they said.. you know what.. bring him in his PJs and we’ll pick him up from the car park.. and change him inside. I had angels supporting me get through that transition : )
And now my second one is turning 1 at the end of this month and boy how far we’ve come! I got the help when it showed up and it felt right. I took the guidance in the form of a 9 month mentorship by a lady who managed to do it all with 5 kids in tow and I was soo curious as to how on earth she did it. For me it was a 9 month journey of knowing how to do soul’s calling, have a great partnership And raise kids that thrive.
My mentor in her very Dutch way just said “Nadhira, you can’t get your son late for school it’s just become a habit and it’s not good for him or you.. so do his lunch the night before, make sure you have breakfast together (I actually began to have breakfast with him by lighting a candle at the dining table so he had some food in his belly) –
The me Before the guidance.. I was rushing , getting him in the car.. and he never liked being rushed.. all because I hadn’t organised myself.
In a 30 minute phone call we figured out where my blind spots were just by talking it over and having someone outside who had figured this out tell me “do this. Try this”.
And I Loved it. I remember relaying to my mentor how freaking proud I was of myself.. not from a conceited way but such a joyful childlike.. OOooh my gosh I DID it!! My 3 year old is soo happy going to kinder now too and he brushes his teeth, picks out his clothes and is ready to go all because my family structure started to work better.
Here’s what I see that works:
- Talking into a space for clarity.. sometimes you don’t even know what you need until you speak it out loud.
- Not in circles in your own head.. but out loud into an intentional space. A space that’s just filled with curiosity and non judgement so we can catch these magical moments of truth and clarity so you can take your next step.
I had so much fun with this last week, that I decided I want to do it again. I’m opening up 3 spots to speak with me about what’s going on in your business and life and figuring out your next step. Hit reply : email: firstname.lastname@example.org if you get a gut yes or a leaning in.. and I will let you know what to do next so we can set up a time if I feel I could be the right space for you.