What’s really going on when you don’t always get what you want..
This topic came to me because I’ve had a situation that I’ve dealt with recently where I was hitting roadblock after roadblock and not getting what I wanted. I’ve also seen this happen in some instances for my clients and I figured it’s time we talk about why we don’t always get what we want sometimes.
The particular experience below relates to my pregnancy : ) Snuck in an announcement there didn’t I? If you haven’t been following me on facebook – here’s the news : ) I’m a first time mum to be and as I write this I’m at week 17 : )
So how does this relate to ‘not getting what you want’? It came into play when I hit so many “No’s” when it came to finding a hospital to birth my baby. This whole experience was new to me. It felt like I was just being rejected left right and centre. My first choice of hospital just said flat out that they can’t accept me because their registry was full for births in November 2012 – so “please call another hospital”.
I was so put off after that phone call. I was spoken to quite rudely and I wasn’t expecting to Not get in when I made that phone call. That was setback #1: Flat out Rejection.
Ready for the others?
Attempt #2 with Hospital 2: Initially I thought I got in and I CELEBRATED… I was over the moon! It was the same hospital that my niece was born in. I was so impressed with the lady whom I spoke to over the phone. She told me how I could get a place there so I followed the steps and kept my fingers crossed.
Setback #2:A week later I get a letter saying “Sorry you don’t qualify to be admitted to this hospital for your delivery as you fall outside our zone – please contact your local hospital instead”
I was gutted.
You wonder why you don’t get what you want sometimes. There’s always a reason , except sometimes you don’t quite know WHY things aren’t going your way.
This is where there’s always something greater at work you know? Like an unseen force, (God/Source) who might know what’s best for you – His vision for you so He’s just rearranging some events around to help you see what He wants you to see.
The problem is you might only be connecting with your ‘plan’ which in my case happened to be ‘give birth in hospital.’ I thought that was my only option -it’s what everybody else does right?
What you may not see when everything is going wrong or Not according to ‘your plan’ – is that perhaps there’s a Better vision for you that’s in your highest good – something that you hadn’t even considered yet.
You can get upset about your current circumstances – which I did in the beginning. I just got emotional one day from doing a trip to my local hospital (trying out a 3rd option) even though intuitively it felt out of place with my plan. Just from driving around that place I knew I couldn’t have my baby there – it was just a horrible feeling that I got inside – you know that intuitive hit or gut feel that it’s totally Not right for you?
I didn’t bother sending my application in to this hospital because I knew internally for me it was a NO.
Sometimes when things don’t go your way and you feel like you’ve run out of options.. the best thing you can do is have faith, that there’s something more to this. Sometimes you can’t see Why something’s not going your way.
In my emotional state I was in no position to make proper decisions on where else I wanted to have my baby. The best thing you can do is just play it S.A.F.E. Play it S.A.F.E. you ask?? Well, not in the traditional sense ; ) This one’s for those of you who are courageous enough to live the way your soul wants to live – and bring those desires to fruition. If you’re game read on.
S.A.F.E. : Here are the steps:
When this happened to me and I felt like I was hitting roadblock after roadblock with contacting hospitals and getting a place there – that little voice inside (my intuition) spoke up and said “Stop Nadhira” – just stop and take a break. So I listened this time and just completely cut off my researching, talking to anyone about hospitals or even thinking about it.
How to apply this step: STOP what you’re currently doing. This allows you to take stock of whether you’re just doing this because you’re following everyone around you or whether you’re really going after your desires. It will give you some time and the silence required to listen to your inner voice/intuition/ that voice that speaks softly.
I just asked God to give me a sign about what I was meant to do next. Whether this sign came in a dream, a message from a ‘random’ conversation with someone.
Eg. One of the day dreams I constantly received was seeing images of Warburton (an hour’s drive from where I live) and the lush green surrounds there. I had got that sign a few weeks earlier and was guided to perhaps visit the place and just meditate. I didn’t follow the guidance then.
This time once I had surrendered and just asked for guidance my messages were becoming more frequent. I kept seeing more of Warburton in day dreams, whenever I was by myself and in a relaxed state.
How to apply this step: ALLOW yourself to be guided as to the best path forward for you. Pray for guidance. Ask God/Source to be shown the right path for your highest good.
When I asked for guidance – I didn’t get a straightforward answer – like here you go ” there’s your answer Nadhira – give birth here marked with an X”.
I only got a hint. My hint was “green surrounds – that looked like Warburton”
During that week I got yet another hint – an email that appeared in my inbox inviting me to attend a workshop called ” Reclaim your birth power”. I was available that Saturday and I even asked my husband if he’d like to come with me – and he said Yes. Everything in my gut said “Yes” you need to be there. So I attended.
This step that I took was just the stepping stone that was required for me to act further.
How to apply this step: FOLLOW the guidance you’re given no matter how small it is. Follow the signs, messages and guidance that you do get. Perhaps the first message you get is “Go for a walk!” – and you automatically go – well how is that related to my current situation? How can That be a sign? Don’t question the sign – just follow it. On your walk – you might bump into someone or be inspired out in nature as to what you’re supposed to do next.
I attended the workshop and I felt like I was in the right place at the right time. My awareness was expanded with the options that were available to me to give birth. I didn’t “Have to” give birth in a hospital. I learned that one of the 5 P’s of birthing is the importance of “PLACE” – where do I want to give birth? I breathed a sigh of relief!
So it’s OKAY that I was rejected from all those hospitals and that internally I didn’t even want to give birth at my local hospital. Seems like all along I never really desired a hospital setting to give birth in anyway. I was just not listening to my guidance at the time.
I connected with the lady who hosted the workshop and she helped me further with some tips on where to find a doula and midwife. I began my own search as well at the same time and when I expanded the possibilities I had in front of me I had expanded options too.
I was in a position to connect the dots. Yay!!!
I now knew where I wanted to birth – it was Warburton! That led me to find a Doula (birth attendant)- and guess what – on my facebook search I found a Doula who’s location was – drum roll please! Warbuton! We connected as soon as we spoke and I knew I wanted her to be part of my team.
She then gave me more clues to find a midwife – I got some names and numbers to call and interview some midwives.
How to apply this step: EXPAND on the possibilities available to you from the messages you’ve got and the action you’ve taken with the guidance you got in the previous step. Expand on the messages you’ve been given.
If you find yourself in a situation where you’re unfamiliar with what to do and you’ve started to take some steps and you’re not getting what you want – one clue is that perhaps you’re being guided to STOP and take stock first of what’s not working.
If it’s not working, Allow yourself to ask a question like “Is this what I really want? Is this what I truly desire?”
When I answered that question for myself in this situation I realised – well.. all I want is a beautiful environment to birth my baby. I need to be in a place connected to nature. That’s what’s important to me and the baby.
The answer that I got was NOT “the latest hospital with all the gadgets” , “the most qualified obstetrician”. These were not what I desired. They weren’t important to me. Yet the steps that I took in the beginning were leading me to a hospital where the environment was far from green, far from ‘connected to nature’. No wonder I didn’t get what I wanted eh?
Until I had stopped to ask “what is it that I truly want?” – I kept going in circles and got no result.
So when you’re in a situation and you find yourself not getting anywhere, remember to play it S.A.F.E:
I cannot be happier with what resulted when I initially “didn’t get what I want” : )
I now welcome that as a sign to go inside and play it S.A.F.E. by following the steps above : )
Feel free to comment on experiences that you’ve had to deal with where sometimes not getting what you wanted spurred you on to create a better outcome xx Would love to hear from you : )
P.S. I’m running a workshop on July 28 – Saturday – evening – if you’re local and would like to attend and find out more- email firstname.lastname@example.org Pencil the date xx I will be covering what it’s like to live this way – and how you can start to get in touch with that rhythm inside to go after your deepest desires in your life and your business..